5 Discrete Coping Skills You Can Bring Anywhere

Written By Ara .

With the school year back in full swing, and the transition to fall upon us, I thought today would be a great time to share some of my favorite low-barrier coping skills! I created this list with the hope that they will be easily accessible to you, whether you are at school, work, home, or out and about! These skills require minimal supplies or preparation, and are pretty discrete so you can access them in times of need, even if other people are around or you cannot leave the situation you are in.

These coping skills (or crisis survival skills, as we call them in DBT), are exactly that - for coping. These skills are for helping you get through a painful or challenging situation, without making things worse. The goal is not to feel better (although you might), but to get through the moment. While these skills are great short-term tools you can access in times of crisis or need, the goal in therapy is to help you work towards the long-term, and make lasting changes in your life, so that hopefully you will need these short-term solutions less and less.

With that being said, here is the list!

Ground in Your Surroundings

Utilizing your surroundings can be a resourceful way to ground yourself in the environment, and to distract yourself from the intense emotions you may be feeling in the moment. Here are 2 of my favorite ways to practice this - test these out and see if one resonates more with you!

Count the Rainbow

Counting the Rainbow involves looking around your environment and finding objects for each color of the rainbow. Take a moment and look around you, and try to look for…

  • 3 things that are the color red

  • 3 things that are the color orange

  • 3 things that are the color yellow

  • 3 things that are the color green

  • 3 things that are the color blue

  • 3 things that are the color purple

  • 3 things that are white

  • 3 things that are gray

  • 3 things that are black.

If you are in a dark environment or are unable to see colors in your environment, you can make a mental list instead of things that are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, white, gray, and black.

54321

54321 is a classic skill that utilizes your different senses to help you connect to your environment. Take a moment and identify…

  • 5 things you can see

  • 4 things you can feel

  • 3 things you can hear

  • 2 things you can smell

  • 1 thing you can taste.

Here is a video that explains this skill further: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30VMIEmA114

Focus on Your Breath - Paced Breathing

Turning your awareness inwards towards your breath can be a discrete and effective skill to access in moments of overwhelm. While there are a lot of different resources online about different breathing techniques, patterns, and ideas, here are 2 of my personal favorite paced breathing exercises. Whichever breathing pattern you choose to do, try to focus on breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Box Breathing

Box breathing involves breathing in a 4-4-4-4 pattern: breath in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, breath out for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts. Then repeat.

I like having a visual guide when I am doing breathing exercises. You can scan your environment and search for anything that is square shaped, and trace the shape with your eyes as you breathe. If you have a paper and pencil in the moment, you can draw a square to trace with your eyes or fingers. You can also trace the shape of a square onto your arm or leg while you breathe. Or, you can imagine a square in your mind as you breathe.

Here is a cute doodle of a Box Breathing image by Sketchplanations: https://sketchplanations.com/box-breathing 

Starfish Breathing

Starfish breathing, or 5-finger breathing, involves breathing in and out while you trace the shape of your hand. Take one finger and place it on the wrist of your opposite hand. As you move your finger up your wrist and trace your thumb, breath in. As you move down your thumb, breathe out. Repeat with each finger on your hand until you reach your wrist again, then repeat.

Here is a graphic if you need a visual: https://www.thecalmcorner.com/2018/11/material-share-monday-5-finger-breathing.html 

Tune Into Your Body - (Mini) Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a grounding technique that involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body to help build awareness of body tension, and observe the feeling of relaxation following the tension. There are lots of Progressive Muscle Relaxation scripts that walk through the entire body from head to toe, as well as guided videos and audio clips that you can listen to and follow along with. However, if you are in a situation where you don’t have time to go through the full Progressive Muscle Relaxation script, you can’t access a script or video in the moment, or you don’t remember what the different muscle groups are, you can opt for this mini/shortened version.

I like to focus on my feet and toes, since they are usually hidden inside my shoes. You can choose your favorite muscle group to do this with though if that isn’t your thing. Tense your feet and clench your toes (or other muscle group) and hold the tension for 10-15 seconds. Then, release the tension, and observe the sensations you feel in your feet as you leave them relaxed. After 10-15 seconds, tense them again and repeat the process a few times. You can also elevate this skill by matching your breathing to the tensing and releasing of your feet. Breathe in as you tense your feet, and breath out as you relax them.

Here are some resources you can access to learn more about the full Progressive Muscle Relaxation script:

Name it to Tame It - Feelings Wheel

Observing and describing the emotions we feel in the moment can be a powerful way to help bring the intensity of the emotion down. As someone who often struggles to identify emotions, I love using a feelings wheel to help me label the emotion that I am feeling in the moment. 

This coping skill requires a *tiny* bit of preparation and access to your cell phone (if you benefit from having a visual guide like me). Find a feelings wheel online that you like (some suggestions are linked below), and take a screenshot or save it to your phone photo album. Add it to your album favorites, or a separate album dedicated for the feelings wheel so that it is easily accessible when you need it. You can also opt to change your phone background to the feelings wheel if that helps lower the barriers for you to access it in the moment! 

Next time you experience intense emotions, take a step back, turn your awareness inwards, and pull up the feelings wheel to help you name the emotion(s) that you are feeling in the moment.

You can access free, beautifully designed feelings wheels online. Here are 2 of my favorite sources:


If you are okay spending some money and you struggle to identify emotions, Lindsay Braman has amazing resources on an Emotion-Behavior Wheel and an Emotion-Sensation Wheel:

Harness Your Imagination - Imagery

Finally, our imagination and imagery can be a powerful tool for distraction, comfort, or escape in times of intense emotion or crisis. I have a few favorite ways that I like to activate my imagination to help me in times of need:

Visit a Photo

If you have access to your phone in the moment, pull up a photo from a pleasant or neutral experience in your camera roll. Look into the photo and recreate the scene in your mind of what was going on in that moment in the photo. Try to immerse yourself into the memory using your 5 senses - What What can you hear? What is the temperature? What does it smell like? Are you sitting, standing, or lying down? Who are you with? What are you feeling? Imagine yourself interacting with the elements in the photo. 

For example, if it’s a simple photo of a morning coffee you had a few months ago - imagine taking a sip of that coffee. What does that taste like, and feel like? Imagine setting that coffee mug down in front of you. What do you do next?

Visit an Illustration

Alternatively, you can opt for a place that doesn’t exist in real life - it can be a drawing, an illustration, or a fantasy image from a book or movie that you pull online. Similar to the photo, put yourself into that scene and try to interact with your environment. What do you see? What do you hear? What happens when you look to the right? What happens when you turn to the left? How about when you look upwards or downwards?

Get creative and have fun with this one!

About the Author

Adora (she/her) is a licensed clinical mental health counselor associate and owner of Spring Day Therapy PLLC. In the past she has worked in various mental health settings with different age groups, populations, and levels of care. In the therapy room, Adora operates from a DBT-informed and culturally-responsive lens to support clients in working through challenges and create real-life changes. Her work is further enhanced by her passion and training in supporting Autistic individuals and providing culturally responsive care for Asian populations.

Outside the therapy room, Adora has experience working in mental health research, and is also the founder and president of FAUNA Mental Health Foundation, an Asian mental health advocacy nonprofit. She currently leads an international team of volunteers and interns to provide accessible mental health resources through their website and workshops with community partners.

Interested in receiving therapy with Spring Day Therapy? Fill out an interest form below to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with Adora!

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